NEW KIDS ON THE BLOG: Jimmie, Joshy The Spider Monkey and Me....

At our house every morning Joshy comes in looking rumpled....asks for a Jelly Bean in exchange for staying in his bed all night "Jelly Bean Pleath"...he says in a deadpan look that would make any gambler proud....I get up and funnel him toward the kitchen....

Laura heads toward the kitchen while a spider monkey with big eyes clings to one arm--Joshy follows while asking for his morning Band-Aid and frantically looking his body over for any sign of a scratch he can point to as needing desperate Band-Aid attention....

"CHEE-IP....I'M GONNA BE ON YOU LIKE A SPHADER MUNKEY!!!!!!!"

Carson emerges having already done all his morning "jobs".....so he is proud to tell everyone in the Tulsa County Area.....we give him the high praise he is looking for and Joshy gives him a look that says:

"Jobs? I've got your jobs right here...."

After breakfast I gather my workbag together....Joshy asks if I am going to help people at work today.....as he sits unkempt and mostly naked on the floor where he has been for the last 30 minutes thinking about putting on his "leg sleeves" and playing with his match-box cars when he thinks no one is looking....I tell him I will help anyone that needs help....then I bend down and take a second to ask him what he wants to do when he grows up.....without a second of reflection he replies "Spank" then goes back to playing with "Jimmie".......which is the name of every car in his collection.....

It's nice to have such attainable life goals...

I tell Carson its time to leave and he heads toward the truck.....we get in and Carson asks to pick out a CD....usually a Merle original....he prefers "Ramblin' Fever" when going to school but some days goes with "Rainbow Stew" if the mood strikes.....

When we get closer to the school Carson asks if we are going thru the usual drop-off line or if I will be 4 Wheeling over the grass near the teacher lot near the "Exit Only" side to drop him off on the side of the school where he then runs around on the sidewalk to where he is supposed to go in....he likes it when I add special effects and call it a "secret mission."

I tell him today we can go thru the line for the general suburban public because the carline is not too long....we edge closer to the front....mostly moms in GINORMOUS SUVs about to drop off kids with names no one can spell like little "Kadynn" or "Kar-synn" or "Gynnifer" before heading to the local DaySpa....perhaps to get a spray tan from an Aunt Laura look-alike.....the rest are moms in thier PJs looking like they just came FROM or are going TO the Crisis Alcohol Center downtown....and these are the ones to watch out for....as the two lanes merge together down to one they begin to drive ANGRY....and get a little too close to the Red Pony....until seeing the myriad scratches down the side from the trees I ran over last fall and the bent bumper in the back where I hit a dumpster last month.....it's then they realize which one of us won't be stopping to take turns to merge like the other Beamer Moms and slowly they give way.....besides they just had the Range Rover waxed yesterday....

As we get closer to the school Carson starts to get edgy and bark orders "Dad!!!! Over there!!!! that one!!!! That spot!!!! Drive over there!!!!"

We pull in.....he gives me a hug....grabs his backpack and tells me he loves me 3 times....I tell him I'm proud of him and to have a great day....he exits the truck....and SPRINTS inside.....but not before slamming the seatbelt in the door.....for the 500th time this year.....

"Sorry Dad!!!"

Now he's ready.....he runs with all his might Napolean Style to the door so he can make it "on time" to do the busywork Math Problems the teacher hands out before school to keep the early birds busy.....

I head toward my office at Panera having successfully completed yet another morning drop....